As I’ve grown older, my fear of the police has gradually lessened, but still I sometimes feel it hasn’t completely disappeared. It emerged with the threatening note I used to get when young, “I will tell the police if you do this? Never thought of asking what the police would do, but having a policeman upright in their crisp uniform was enough for me to fear them.
 |
Source: Melanie Wasser |
Another fear, particularly among certain types of people, such as those who appear rugged, wear black, or have an intimidating presence, still lingers. It could have started from noticing the jogis around Shivaratri.
Moreover, my mom would be telling me, “Stay away, they will hypnotise and take you away in a sack”. I never checked whether they were able to hypnotise me or not, nor do I want to try either, yet the fear is something I have been exploring in my therapy, realising that it’s high time I confront and work through it. And I am aware that either I absorbed myself, or society injected me.
As I went deeper into it, I became more aware of the existence and pervasiveness of fear in Nepali society. I came to a realisation that we are a really fearful society, and another polarisation of us is to get into extremism. Either we are so brave that we go and fight like maniacs, destroying everything on its blind side, or we are so fearful that we just stay quiet or stay behind someone, a group, or at times the screen keeps up with pseudonyms.
Fear is not explored in isolation; it is associated with other feelings and emotions like shame, guilt, regret, insecurities, etc., the feelings hidden mostly unless explored. The avoidance and reluctance are labelled as fear. The fear is associated with anxiety and stress-related disorders. Although fear is primarily future-oriented, past experiences may resurface as recurring thoughts that reinforce “what if” thinking.
Nepali society fears a lot. Students fear their teachers, the consequences of any unwanted behaviour, speaking out, or being alone. They suppress themselves so they would have friends and not end up being alone. So they would have a friend to talk to, and be suppressed due to fear of ridicule or bullying, and many more. In a relationship, the couple fears a breakup.
Among the elderly, fear of loneliness, fear of not being cared for, and fear of giving so much to the next generation without receiving support in return exist intensely.
People in different professions have fear deeply embedded in their workplace. Many of them fear not getting promoted, missing out on the travel package, or failing to land their designation. In trying to manage these fears, many of them jeopardised their relationships, friendships, and personal connections and network.
Psychologists Tangney and Dearing noted in their 2002 work on shame and guilt that these emotions are deeply tangled and provocative to both tangible and intangible inner responses or reactions. A sense of being flawed, incompetent, or insecure generates shame in human beings, whereas unwanted or unexpected behaviours that disrupt personal, social, or moral norms lead to guilt.
Moreover, these unexplored patterns function in context. Social emotions, dynamics, and the individual’s response and reaction to others, both online and offline, are referenced in context. It shows how increased exposure to technology is shaping a materialistic, objectifying mindset and how it is gradually distancing society from subjective emotional awareness.
On the glamorous side of social media, the fearless and uninhibited content creators fear losing views, likes, and acknowledgement. The possibility of monetisation has heightened fears of failing to meet platform requirements, with creators anxious about missing the spotlight or eligibility to earn.
In politics, fear often wears the crown; it quietly shapes and influences right or wrong. rarely showing its face openly, instead hiding behind masks of strategy, morality, or strength. We see it in the fear of losing power, status, influence, followers, or legacy. In one form or another, fear sits at the centre of much leadership behaviour.
The writer and neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux, in his book “Anxious” (2015), talks about it as fear is not just an emotion or feeling; it is a survival system that forces us to act out differently. Every time the brain’s amygdala notices a threat, it reacts automatically, even when the danger is social or symbolic rather than physical.
This dynamic was evident in recent Gen Z–led protests as well as during the Special General Convention of the Nepali Congress. Although the fears differed in nature and origin, and may have seemed irrational to some, they triggered significant disruption and ultimately caused a split in one of the oldest democratic parties.
Psychologist Arne Öhman has stated about this fearful behaviour and associates it especially with the inability to cope with the unknown, in his book, Fear and Anxiety (2008). This theory explains why political change often feels intimidating before it feels hopeful, a phenomenon clearly visible in Nepali politics. Losing influence over followers can be a major source of fear.
This resistance does not happen by chance; there is a strong logic behind it and that logic is fear.
We are deeply afraid of losing status, power, security, and control.
When beliefs, norms, or loyalties feel at risk, fear emerges quickly, and when people are unable to cope, they often cling to familiar leaders or systems. It’s not because these leaders are the best, but because with them, people feel safe.
Though fear is very much embodied without life, yet the constant undercurrent for some turns into chronic anxiety, panic disorder, or severe emotional exhaustion. Fear looks to the future, yet it remains weighed down by the past.
Though fear is never only personal and is deeply collective, it also shapes our priorities, keeps us alert, and can even bring positive shifts. Yet, fear of positive change is rarely observed; instead, we often continue to fear what we might lose or what we might never have.
